The Perfect Failure
by ako to
Summary: Allen is experiencing the worse part of a teenagers life; College. He's planning to fail all his subjects but it seems like Cross already has a back-up plan. "Next school year, I'm going to enroll you to a new University.Noah's Arc University." Allen POV


**AUTHOR'S NOTE BEFORE YOU READ:**

Please be warned that this story will have shounen-ai (YAOI?) in later chapters. Also. This story is told in Allen's POV. Expect some OOC-ness and me trying to be funny and angsty at the same time.

I hope you enjoy my first story.

This story is **un-edited**. I apologize in advance for wrong grammar and spelling errors.

**THE PERFECT FAILURE**

Have you ever reach a point in your life where everything just seems to go wrong even when you try your hardest for things to go right, that point where you do things you don't normally do and all your efforts just go unnoticed?

I have reached that point in my life, I have done all those things and I realized that maybe I shouldn't care anymore, what's the difference anyway? So I did. I stopped caring. I don't care what other people think. I don't even care about my studies. And…well, everything I'm going to tell you are about my life as a college student. Care to listen?

I am Allen Walker.

I am 17 years old.

I am enrolled at Black Order University, College of Architecture.

I am currently feeling like shit.

It all started when I stopped attending my trigonometry class. It was because of something I didn't want to talk about or to remember. It was the cause of my hell.

I know for sure I was going to fail. It's been almost two months after all and finals for the second semester is one month away so I doubled my efforts in my other subjects. I was doing well, too but all my professors had to say was 'I heard you weren't attending Mr. Leverrier's class. Do you plan to pass first year, Walker?' and "Mr. Leverrier said you're not attending his class. After he spent time tutoring you this is what you do? I'm disappointed, Walker.'. No matter how good I do in class all they see is this one bad thing. So one month ago, I stopped going to school. A normal teenager with a healthy mind would never think of this, I know. But I am not normal nor am I healthy, mentally, I think. I heard someone say that ones personality is built at the age of 16 to 18. To bad, when I was sixteen, I started hating life.

Most of the times, I just stay home. I have the house all to myself since my guardian couldn't waste the energy to give a damn and does whatever he likes. Lavi calls me sometimes, asking why I didn't go to school. Even though he takes classes in a different building, being a Medical student, he always takes the time to visit me whenever he can, which means every break, lunch and when I get lucky, we even take the bus home together. So naturally, he will notice when I'm missing. Plus, my white hair and pale skin kind if makes me stand out like a sore thumb.

When he does call me, I…lie to him. I hate lying to Lavi. He's my best friend, the shoulder I lean on.

That's too girly so forget I even said that.

Anyway, when Lavi calls, I tell him there was an emergency, that Cross came home without saying in advance and forced me to stay home and be a good servant, that I was sick, that I don't feel like going to school. Whenever I say these things, Lavi just sighs. I guess he understands, understands that I don't want to talk about it, that he should mind his own business, that I'm not ready yet but when I'm ready I'll definitely go to him and tell him everything. I'll even cry openly. But…not now.

When the house feels to quiet for me, I go out. Like now. I'm on the bus and the next stop is my University. My first class started at 7:30. It's already past nine so I won't have any problem of being seen. What do I care anyway?

The bus stopped and all the student passengers got out. Some even looked at me. Maybe they remember me back when I was still going to school. It's hard to forget a white-haired freak, anyway.

I just ignored them.

When the bus started moving again, I felt that familiar pain in my chest; guilt, anger and frustration.

Guilt because I once promised to Mana that I will be a good boy and study well and graduate and here I am breaking that promise. Anger to myself because every night I keep telling myself I'm not going to do this again but when I wake up, my mind just sets up to this usual routine. Frustration because this is the only way I can think of to help my mind stop thinking about everything, even for just a few hours.

I hate it.

I hate this.

I hate myself.

I can't even think of facing Lavi like this.

When the bus came to the final stop, I stood up and checked if I left anything. Not that I would, I only have my wallet with me. I watched as the bus drove away until I can't see it anymore. I walked a few blocks and turned a corner. This is one of the shady parts of town where you wouldn't want your parents to see you hanging. I won't have that as a problem since I don't have parents anymore. My guardian? Oh, I think he would be proud.

I stopped in front of an abandoned building, of so it seems. I knocked twice on the door and waited for a few seconds before it finally opened.

"Allen," the bouncer, Mahoja, said in an almost scolding tone. She may not look like it but she's a woman, a very kind woman which might explain why she's looking at me that way. She knows I'm not attending classes. She doesn't know why.

"I know Anita-san told you to go whenever you want but that doesn't mean everyday."

Oh, yeah, I started going here everyday one month ago, when Cross actually went home and found me there. It was Monday. He didn't ask questions, of course he wouldn't, or else apocalypse would come. He just looked at me suspiciously, as if he knows what I've been doing, and…I know this is wishful thinking but I thought I saw some concern in his eyes.

Yeah, definitely wishful thinking.

Mahoja was still giving me that look-an almost glare. I just forced a smile at her. I must have looked pathetic because that look vanished and she sighed. She finally let me in and I felt grateful she didn't question me. When the doors closed, I almost couldn't see but Mahoja's large physic is easily distinguished even in the dark. We were in a corridor with so many doors to count. Behind those doors, I can here laughter so I guess almost everyone is drunk.

It was fine as long as they don't start fights. It was one of the rules here.

No trouble-making, no drugs, no having sex.

Oh, and there's one only for me; no underage-drinking.

I was slightly mad when the owner of this place, Anita, grabbed my drink the first time I came here and told me that no underage was allowed to drink when there was a high school junior two seats from us having the time of his life in Cloud 9. I only understood her motives when she said her next statement.

"We wouldn't want you to end up like Marian, would we?"

Apparently, she once had a relationship with 'Uncle' Cross, but because of certain things they had to break up. At first I thought I was hearing things. Cross having a relationship other than one-night-stand? Totally unheard of. But the more I talked to her, the more I learned that she was, is, different from all the other women Cross sometimes brings home. She really love him, and maybe, somewhere in the deep recesses of Cross' chest where his heart should be placed, he felt something for Anita, too. I sure hope so.

Mahoja stopped in front of a large door and opened it for me. I passed her and entered the large room. I heard the sound of the door closing behind me above all the music and noise in the room. The room is like a club, only its open 24/7. Anyone can go here whenever they want and nobody would question them. Even at nine in the morning, the place is almost full. I had to squeeze myself between those sweaty, dancing bodies to go to the bar. I even felt someone grope my behind.

I sat at one of the stools and looked back at the crowd I just passed. Most of the costumers were students; some high school and others college students just like me. I wondered for one moment if we were in the same situation.

No, maybe not.

I can't look that happy even if I tried.

I looked to my side, expecting to see it empty. I started when I saw golden eyes staring back at me.

That's…not right. Those seats were supposed to be empty. Always.

I blinked when I noticed that there were actually two pairs of golden eyes looking at me. I was even more surprised when one of them actually talked to me.

"Hey, is that your natural hair color?"

What?

"What?" I asked allowed. The other golden-eyed guy blinked.

"David asked you if that's your natural hair color."

"I heard it the first time."

"Then why didn't you answer the first time?" the first one, David, asked matter-of-factly.

"I…" well, why didn't I answer the first time? Maybe because of the fact that it was actually the first time someone other than Anita, Mahoja and the guy at the bar talked to me, or maybe because these two looked kind of suspicious. They were on the drug dealer level of suspicious.

Did that blonde sew his mouth?

Yup, they are suspicious.

"Well, is it?"

"Oh," right, I almost forgot they asked me a question. I unconsciously fiddled a lock of my hair. "Yes it is."

To my surprise-again- they both slammed their hands on the table.

"No way, man!"

"That's just…fucking cool!" I was amazed how the blonde managed to open his mouth that wide without shedding blood. I'm sure he just defied a couple of laws of Physics there. And…

"What's so cool about it?" I asked calmly because, really, what's so cool about it? Aside for being the laughing stock in class, I'm always mistaken as an old man.

"What's s cool about it? You're actually asking what's so cool about IT?"

I…didn't realize seeing my white hair can make someone hysterical, and goodness, is the blonde hyperventilating?

"'Dero hang in there! Stay with me! Stay with me, DAMNIT!" a few slaps and a punch in the gut did the trick. Am I in some kind of gag show? I actually looked around to see if anyone had a camera.

When everything was clam again, the two turned their heads to me in unison. I was impressed. I only see that on TV.

…So I'm on TV?

"Dude, your hair is cool because you don't see that kind of hair in an ordinary guy, except for old people of course. That makes you, like, super-human or something." David was waving his hand wildly and I had to dodge twice to avoid a black eye.

"No, no," 'Dero chided in. "It makes him…not normal. Above normal. Right, his above normal. In short, his Ab-normal."

I don't know if I should be offended or running for my life.

These guys…are totally crazy.

"Yeah." David nodded as if that logic made sense. "You're super Ab-normal. Wait…you're not an old man, are you?"

"_You're_ not taking drugs, are you?" I asked bluntly. Anyone behaving like this must be taking something.

"What-? No! Of course not, man!"

"We tried to, once, but we got busted." The blonde was grinning like crazy.

"I didn't know Tyki could look that mad."

"Yeah! It was totally scary!" But that glint in your eyes says otherwise. I just know it.

"Anyway," David turned his attention to me again. "I think your hair will look more awesome with a tattoo."

A what?

"Hey, David, you're right! Maybe he should get one on his forehead or his cheek."

A tattoo? I never thought of that before. Why? Because any sane person wouldn't want to stab needles on their face and discolor their skin just to look cool.

These two…are totally insane.

That's it. I'm leaving.

Never mind that I just got here. Never mind that I don't have anywhere else to go. I. Am. Leaving! And on one can stop me!

I pushed my stool backwards and it hit something. Actually, my back hit something, something very solid.

So I said earlier that no one can stop me, right? Hehe…well yeah. No one can stop me…except this guy.

He was as big as Mahoja, maybe even bigger!

Yeah, that's cue for me to cower in fear.

"Yo, skin! Whatcha' doin' here?"

"Hey, Hey! Meet our new friend, Whitey!"

I felt myself being grabbed on the shoulders to face the Big Guy. Yeah, it's capitalized.

Holy, He's not just big, he's…gray. All over. And I mean it because he had the buttons of his shirt open and I can see his skin and it's…all…gray!

"Whitey?" Even his voice is big. Well of course his voice would be big. Imagine if his voice is squeaky with a body like that. It'll be very funny!

If only I can laugh.

"Yeah, Whitey!" Someone grabbed my hand. Raised it, and waived wildly. I'm guessing it's David.

And who are they calling Whitey, anyway?

"Don't touch me! And who's Whitey? I have a name, you know."

When I looked at the two, they were looking at me, confused. David was the first to speak, as usual.

"Well, actually, we don't."

"Yeah, what's your name?"

"It's…Annhenn Wokkehn.." I mumbled. I just realized something. This is actually the first time in a long time somebody asked for my name. In class, they just call me Walker, as in the class list. They never even bothered to ask for my first name. I think only Lavi knows me by my first name in school.

I'm really pathetic.

"Wha' was that?" they both cupped their ears and leaned forward. I blushed when both their faces came too close to mine.

"A-Allen Walker." Yes, it's very embarrassing, but I stuttered. Like a school girl!

"Allen…" David began.

"…Walker." And 'Dero finished.

I wonder why the atmosphere suddenly thickened it's almost choking me. I mean, I just said my name, what's the big deal, right? Even the Big Guy isn't moving. In fact I think everyone stopped breathing, including me. The tense silence was only broken when…

"Skin, did you find them yet?"

Automatically, all of us turned to the new comer.

My first thought? Is tan the new trend?

My second thought? He's…good-looking…hmm…

My third and final thought? NOT HOMOOOOOO!

"You two…" the new-comer growled. It seemed he didn't notice me yet. Which is good. I think.

He marched to 'Dero and David and…grabbed both their ears.

"OwOWOWOWOW! Tyki!" so this is Tyki?

"Stop! Stop! HAVE MERCY!"

"How many times do I have to tell you not to cut my class, huh?"

"But it's your class, Tyki! And we're your brothers!" David tried to reason, and save his ear from falling off.

"That's no reason to skip, IDIOT!"

"But!" 'Dero's still not giving up. You have to give him credit for that. "We found Allen Walker!"

"Allen who?"

"Allen Walker." Surprisingly, it was the Big Guy who spoke. And he's pointing his big finger at me. You can't blame me if I swallowed my own saliva, right?

I felt the new-comer, Tyki, looking at me. So I looked at him. And I wish I didn't because, those eyes are soooo gold.

NOT HOMOOOOOO!

"You're Allen Walker?"

All I can think of doing is nod. I nod. Twice. Like a robot.

"Huh. You've grown." Of course I have.

Wait…what?

"Excuse me, but have we met?" because if we did, I would remember him.

NOT HOMO!

Weird, but I can hear this voice in my head saying 'Someone's in denial."

"Well, I'm not surprised you don't remember me. It's been years since we've met in the orphanage."

At the mention of the word orphanage, I tensed.

How…how did he know that? No one knows! It's only Cross and Anita, I'm sure, 'cause she said she was there when Cross adopted me. But he…this guy…how…

And they know who I am.

Something's not right here.

"If the Earl knows about this, he'll go crazy for sure. He wanted to adopt you first."

Earl? Earl who?

Suddenly, I don't feel that safe here anymore. So I decided to take my initial plan and walked out of there. I didn't look back when 'Dero and David called after me.

This day is really weird.

Hopefully, when I go home, everything will be back to normal again.

…Or not.

….

When I walked back to my house, I noticed two things.

One, there's a van in front of the house.

Two, my things are being loaded in said van.

I was already gathering my voice to shout 'THIEF!' when someone opened the front door carrying yet more boxes. And…oh crap, I'd recognize that red hair even miles away!

I am _so_ dead.

Cross put down the boxes he'd been carrying and as if he already knew I was there, turned to look at me. I gulped.

"Pack your things, brat. We're leaving."

We're what?

I must have said it out loud because he glared at me.

"We're moving out. I bought a house next town. I already dropped you in all your class. You're not attending them, anyway." He growled.

I felt my heart beat rapidly. He knew! How did he found out? Is it Lavi? Did he tell Cross? Wha-?

"Get moving brat!"

At his command, I snapped out of it.

It doesn't matter if he knew. We're moving anyway.

Were…Moving…

We're moving?

But why?

"Why?" I turned back to him and asked.

"Don't ask questions." He said, already lighting a cigarette.

"What about College?"

"I told you, I dro-."

"I'm not going to College anymore?" Funny how I feel very, very sad, considering I was already planning on failing my first year. Maybe it was because I won't be having a second chance.

Cross was looking at me, weirdly. Did I say something wrong?

"Did I say that?" he asked.

"Well, no, but you…"

"Brat, if I didn't say that then you're still going to college." I felt like hugging the bastard for the first time! "And be grateful about it, brat." He added.

I take it back. I take it ALL BACK!

I turned to pack all my stuffs. Everything felt so surreal. I think the fact that we're leaving…that I'm leaving haven't sink in to my brain yet. Only hours ago I was thinking about Mana and Lavi and my classes and now, I'm going to leave them all behind.

Lavi…Oh no! I have to tell Lavi!

"Next school year."

"What?" I looked back at Cross. He's not done talking yet?

"Next school year, I'm going to enroll you to a new University."

"Okay." Was all I could think of replying.

"Noah's Arc University."

The What-University?

"Earl should be fucking grateful about it. The bitch."

The…Earl?

Why do I feel like my life has just gone from Hell to Ultimate Despair?

So do you like it? Want me to continue? Pairing ideas? Want to try your flaming abilities? (oh please on!) Want to tell me you love me?

Click the review button and feed me!

Please…


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